What
is dad’s role in all of this? Here are a few tips that may be helpful to
the soon-to-be father as he plans for baby coming home.
Think
ahead. Lots of expecting Dads are good with planning, so put that
brainpower to work before the delivery. Ask yourself: How can I make the
house more suitable for a newborn? What will make life easier for us?
What will the baby need? Can I research, buy or borrow those items?
Cleaning up clutter around the house and making space for your new
addition is a good place to start. Your partner will really appreciate
your efforts to streamline your home so that it will be easier to move
about with the new baby. Infants come with a lot of “stuff” and there has
to be room to accommodate everything you will need.
Not
sure what else to do? Talking to other Dads is always a good idea. You
can also read baby books, do some internet searching on the subject of
becoming a new Dad and pick up some local parenting publications. You may
find that there are support groups for the new fathers in your community,
which would be a great way to connect with other parents.
If
you don’t have any experience with a baby, try to find a family member or
good friend who has an infant and spend some time with them. Hold the
baby, feed the baby and, yes, change the baby!
Ask
questions and observe what the parents are doing and how baby is
reacting. The new parents would love it if you and your spouse would
offer to baby sit for a few hours here and there and perhaps even an
overnight. This time spent with an infant will give you confidence,
because you are doing “the real thing” rather than just reading and
imagining. What a great way to get ready for bringing home your own
newborn.
Making decisions ahead of time about who will be doing what and when is a
great plan of action. For example, the new Mom will be focused on feeding
the baby and getting some rest, so Dad could be in charge of organizing
meals, doing dishes and some laundry. If none of this comes naturally,
enlist some help from family and friends. Start these chores during the
pregnancy. Make the effort and there will be big rewards.
Grocery shopping will also be a must for the new Dad. Type out a long
list of everything you can think of that you purchase on a regular basis,
and print out a dozen copies. This way, you can simply pull out a list
and circle the items you need that day. Jot down anything that may not be
on the list and you are on your way.
After
baby arrives, just be there as much as possible and be supportive. Your
partner has been through a physically and emotionally traumatic
experience. Now, she is trying to bond and care for an infant. It will
be impossible to know what it is like to walk in her shoes, but if you are
supportive and non-judgmental then you are doing your job.
Many
first-time Dads find the stress and upheaval of a newborn too difficult
and they begin spending time away from the house and their new family.
Pulling away is a big mistake because you will be missing out on a lot and
your absence may cause friction and long-term resentment on the part of
your partner.
Start
planning early and stay involved. It will be the most challenging but
rewarding experience of your life.
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